The Stupid of Halloween

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As most people have experienced, coming up with Halloween costumes is hard. Especially if you’re lazy like me and don’t want to spend more than 4 minutes assembling a costume, not to mention even putting it on. Well, worry no more, my fellow werewolves, vampires, and assorted bedsheet ghosts, because I present to you: The stupidest of Halloween.

Smart Cookie. For this, you can get a cheap cap and gown from Amazon, print out some cookies, and tape them to the gown. Just make sure nobody eats them.

The Deer (with headlights). For this costume, you’re going to have to go on a relaxing stroll through the woods. As you’re strolling luxuriously, find two medium-length twigs, about half the size of your forearm. Tape them to a headband and put it on. Next, get a flashlight and shine it around constantly. Congratulations, sir or madam, you are now a deer with headlights.

Sally Seashell In this costume, you take one of your favorite trench coats and glue a $2 bag of seashells to the inside. Next, you legally change your name to Sally (or tape the word Sally to your forehead) and sell seashells by the seashore.

Error 404. 4 this costume, you need a white t-shirt and a permanent marker. It doesn’t have to be for clothing, as the costume only has to last for Halloween. Simply write ‘404 costume not found’ on the shirt and go out to trick-or-treat. Nobody else can blame you for having a broken costume.

A – salt. This one’s as fun to make as it is to make fun of. (It’s also my personal favorite.) All you do is take a white shirt, put fabric-friendly glue all over it, then throw small crystal beads at it that you can find at any craft store (or you can use real salt if you really push it). You can now gently poke people and ask why they are so salty.


Author: ottawahillsbearpause

Junior High newspaper

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